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licking stars off ceilings : the zine
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| call for submissions: “i knew a motherfucker like you and she said…” #5! |
[24 Dec 2010|01:17am] |
ever feel that, as a grrrl, there is so much shit you aren’t allowed to talk about? so many topics are off limit if you don’t want to be degraded, attacked, judged and so on. it’s so hard to know who you can trust to talk about this shit with, who will have your back and not judge you. that’s what this zine is about. we are grrrlVIRUS bitches and we have your back and we will not judge you.
edited by me, clementine cannibal, “i knew a motherfucker like you and she said…” is a compilation zine by and for grrrls, in which we tackle the topics we feel most silenced about. all the things we get called ‘bitch’, ‘slut’, ‘dyke’, ‘prude’, ‘fucked up’, ‘freak’, ‘cunt’, ‘stupid’ for saying. all the things that society says good girls don’t talk about. all the things that weigh down our hearts, that we are dying to express. this zine is a place for that. we won’t call you a bitch or any other sexist name. we want to listen to you and hear your stories and share our stories with you.
“i knew a motherfucker like you and she said…” is a grrrl-positive zine, that recognizes how fuckin hard the struggle is, being a grrrl in this world and that celebrates all the different ways we survive and create joy and pleasure in our lives. we know every grrrl is different and we respect that fact. we don’t have to agree, but we are going to listen to each other and support each other’s right to speak.
topics might include: sex, sexuality, sexually transmitted infections, reproductive choice, abortion, music, sports, being a grrrl in male dominated spaces, ambition, work, unemployment, self-employment, sex work, creativity, building grrrl community, grrrl-hate, self esteem, body image, eating disorders, the politics of hating / loving our bodies, sexual harassment, sexual violence, incest, rape, relationships, friendships, love, desire, pleasure, menstruation, period sex, learning skills, being a bad grrrl, dealing with sexism, drug and alcohol use and/or abuse, being labeled ‘mentally ill’, mental health, self injury, survival, sisterhood, feminism, choice, self love, masturbation, body hair removal or not removing body hair, growing up as a grrrl, happiness on your own terms, ways to fight back against oppression, grrrl solidarity, empowerment, being publicly humiliated, physical violence, violence within relationships, things that really matter to you, things that piss you off, things you are passionate about… or come up with your own topic.
speak your mind and heart and don’t be afraid to sound ‘bitchy’ or ‘slutty’ or ‘stupid’ or any of the other words hurled at women to shut us down. communication is healthy and political. we need to share our stories with each other and not let ourselves be silenced by misogyny. submissions can take any form, from essays to poetry to images to rants to personal stories and so on. it just has to be easily photocopied in black and white.
send submissions to: lickingstarsoffceilings@hotmail.com
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| new zines from clementine cannibal |
[06 Jul 2010|06:25pm] |
"i knew a motherfucker like you and she said..." #2
edited by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 68 pages, $3.00
the 2nd issue is here! written by adrian fynch, casey jean, christine stoddard, clementine cannibal, cocoa/puss, cryptstine maria, foxy mudslide, ele, jessica, jolie nunez-noggle, katie deee, kat, kitty pryde, liat hannah, louise, marcia glover, maygun, sally synonymous, sandy, star blanket river child and sugarheart. these grrrls are fierce, intelligent, introspective and brave. topics include: sexuality in various forms, being a grrrl, menstruation, abuse, relationships, anger, falling in love, sexism and figuring out what we want in life. i really can't do it justice with a description. each grrrl comes forward with her voice, her piece and it really opens up your mind and reassures you to hear so many grrrls living and feeling and fighting and surviving and fucking and choosing and figuring it out for ourselves, on our own terms. thank you so much to every grrrl who contributed! both issues have turned out amazing and i am so happy to be doing this!
licking stars off ceilings #16
by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 56 pages, $3.00
this issue is all about growth, change, motion forward. it is a zine about waking up, digging up the words buried deep. i write about and to and for and by grrrrlness, i invoke the grrrlVIRUS, drudge it up from where's it's been forgotten. i write about finding inspiration and remembering who i am. i write about adventures on my bike in the don valley, sex and sexuality, love, spirituality, quitting drinking and other things. it's a hand written zine and i really like how the layout turned out. it's a zine about being happy, loving life, gaining wisdom and moving forward.
licking stars off ceilings #15 / watch him bleed #3
by clementine cannibal and ivana stab, 1/4 size, 40 pages, $3.00
this is a split with my friend ivana's zine 'watch him bleed'. in my half i write about the girlVIRUS and what it means to me, food and the importance of eating, dealing with change, learning to live in the present, fucking my man under a bridge, coming to terms with my past, falling even more in love, my grrrl katryn and playing guitar. there's also a cartoon of me learning to ride my bike, drawn by my man. in her half, ivana writes about figuring out who she is, her childhood memories of living in the former yugoslavia, how war has effected her life and her firmly anti-war beliefs, attraction based on style, boys, feeling alive, school and the girlVIRUS and what it means to her. she also has an amazing piece about what she's lost and what she's got. these topics among others fill the pages and i think ivana's and i's style compliment each other perfectly. check out ivana's other zines for sure!
licking stars off ceilings #14
by clementine cannibal, 1/4 size, 40 pages, $3.00
this issue is about growth, new beginnings. the first half has stuff about my exboyfriend that i wrote while we were dating. it's an outlet of the pain and betrayal i felt. i write about the pressure to have 'vaginal orgasms'. i also write about feeling like my life is divided up into 'issues', like being queer, being locked up, sexual violence etc, when i want it to feel more cohesive, overlapping, like how it feels as i live it. the second half is about discovering myself and living in different ways, feeling new things, dancing again, falling in love hardcore with ashton. it's about guitar and learning to ride my bike. there's a drawing by ashton and a postcard i hold dear, sent to me by one of my favourite zinesters.
licking stars off ceilings #13 / mrs. noggle #19
by clementine cannibal and jolie nunez-noggle, 1/4 size, 48 pages, $3.00
this issue is a split with my friend jolie's zine 'mrs. noggle'. my half was written right after a painful breakup, but it focuses on the positive. i write about girlzines, masturbation, female sexual anatomy, sexuality, stds and safer sex, guitar, my ex and wanting more out of life. in her half, jolie writes about relationships with girls and the issues she's had, a show called 'bad girls club', a show called 'just say julie', anxiety, wanting more out of life and projects she is working on. if you like girlzines, get two awesome girlzines in one! jolie is a really kickass grrrl and you should check out more of her work!
to check out the rest of my catalog click here.
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| 4 months in... new years resolution check in! |
[22 Apr 2010|12:14am] |
1. finish these credits at school.
2. learn to play guitar standing up.
3. learn more songs. (working on it... pretty much learned "best sunday dress" today)
4. write my own songs. (i've written 3 songs on my own and done some with ashton)
5. play with casey more.
6. "i knew a motherfucker like you and she said..." #2 (working on #3 now)
7. more 'licking stars off ceilings', maybe a split issue. (13 was a split with jolie, just finished 14 and working on 15 which will be a plit with ivana!)
8. the first issue of 'there are things worse than death'.
9. the first issue of 'the mary bells'.
10. help casey get out 'negative nancy' and 'to courtney with love'.
11. start doing zine review videos. (only did one, more to come)
12. table at zine fairs.
13. learn to drive.
14. make more grrrlfriends.
15. take lots of pictures. (just lost my camera which SUCKS, but i can use ashton's)
16. start doing porn.
17. learn to ride my bike. (HELL YES)
and i added:
18. EATING REGULARLY
19. GETTING ENOUGH IRON AND B12/FUCK ANEMIA
which i have been doing pretty good at.
and now i'm adding:
20. draw more pictures.
21, play guitar live.
22. write in my diary way more.
23. try to go forward on a skateboard.
24. record my ep.
25. set up a new/better website.
26. be happy.
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| “I Knew a Motherfucker Like You and She Said…” #3 – CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS |
[21 Apr 2010|11:19pm] |
It’s that time again grrrls! I am looking for submissions for the third issue of “I Knew a Motherfucker Like You and She Said…” It’s a compilation zine of writing by grrrls, edited by me (Clementine Cannibal). The theme of the zine is uncensored honesty on topics that we feel we are expected to be silent about. I want the real shit. There are so many things that grrrls are not allowed to say or ask or express. We aren’t allowed to talk about our bodies, histories, sexualities, even our opinions without scorn, violence or humiliation. Grrrls get told to shut up. We get told that we’re stupid, that we aren’t good enough. We are told that we are gross and ugly and should feel ashamed. This is a zine where we refute that, where we express what it’s like to live with that shit put on us, where we make room for each other and listen to each other. It’s not about judging each other, it’s not about being perfect, it’s not about being right, it’s not about silencing each other. It’s about listening to each other, and finding the courage to speak, to say the things you really need to say. We are listening. You can be as bitchy and fucked up as you want. You don’t have to spell shit right. You can rant and rave or write a story. You can bitch about bad lovers. You can tell your deepest secrets. You can tell the truth, how you feel, who you are. You can use a fake name if you want, or pimp your shit off in the zine. You can say shit in this zine that you might feel uncomfortable or scared saying in other places, because we got your back, and we are putting ourselves out there too. This is a girlVIRUS production and it is dedicated to the empowerment of all grrrls.
topics might include: rocknroll, punkrock, music in general, sex, pleasure, relationships, violence, sexual violence, drug or alcohol use or abuse, masturbation, ambition, partying, anger, feelings about your body, ways to "riot" or fight back, feelings of grrrl solidarity or feelings of alienation, experiences of humiliation or being "made an example of", things that really matter to you, things that piss you off, experiences with your period, learning about sex: the things you wish you'd known back then, experiences with stds, birth control, reproductive choice, abortion: medical and/or "natural", experiences with work, dealing with grrrl jobs such as retail, service jobs, sex work of various kinds, or trying to "make it" in male dominated jobs or neither or both, mental "health" or "unhealth", or "gofuckyourself i AM healthy", experience with psychwards and that whole psych world, being called or considered crazy/hysterical/emotional
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| to do |
[21 Apr 2010|09:13am] |
- work on lsoc 15 (split with ivana stab!!) <3
- ride my bike
- osap appointment
- look into summer courses
- mail some zines
- play guitar
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| all i see is what's in front of me and that's you |
[06 Apr 2010|09:49am] |
things have been crazy busy.
first of all, my sister went missing. she was not heard from or seen in 2 full nights and days. we were terrified. we filed a missing person's report, my aunts were here (it was like a family reunion), we were postering everywhere. i was so scared. i was praying so hardcore. she turned up. she had met a guy and was chilling at his place and just forgot to call. she's never done anything like that before (and after what happened i'm sure she won't again). i love my sister and i am so fuckin relieved to have her back safe and sound.
other than that, ashton and i have been spending lots of time together and our relationship is growing stronger every day. i have never had a boyfriend like him before. he is my friend. we do shit together. we talk. we take our bikes out. we go to the movies with free tickets he got. he steals me shoelaces and pregnancy tests. we go for long walks in the don valley. i watch him skate at the skatepark (and he says he wants to start teaching me to stand on the board). we make music together and encourage each other's music. we take pictures (lots. check out facebook if you want to puke from our sheer cuteness.) we drink beer and smoke weed. he eats me out. really well too. we hold hands. we cook food together. we eat icecream pops from the store. i met his family and he met mine. i've never been in love like this. it actually feels good and it doesn't hurt.
school is almost wrapped up. i pulled shit together and handed everything in late and winged my exams. i have one more paper (the 9 pager that got deleted) and one more exam and then i'm done the year. i hope i pass. but yeah i'm pretty much just happy to be done with it. i'm going to take the summer off school and i need to figure out what i'm going to do for money this summer.
i'm working on writing my own songs and i'm planning to do an EP. i'm getting better at my bike. i'm eating more. i have more energy. things have been crazy busy and i have been broke, but i won 2 bursaries from school, so i have a bit of money now. i need to get on top of my zines. licking stars off ceilings 14 is done and needs to be copied. there's lots of people i need to get back to. i need to get organized and clean my house. and the weather's so fuckin nice.
( pictures! )
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| school bullshit |
[18 Mar 2010|03:37pm] |
so the nine page essay i wrote as a last ditch effort to save my year, was magically deleted. yes, that's my luck.
apparently the LAST date to hand anything in is april 5th..... so i'm thinking .... maybe i can pull something together.
here's what i would have to do to at least have a chance at not totally failing.
- this giant essay that got deleted
- letter to author assignment, reading journal, and critical commentary (which may not be accepted)
- final urban studies assignment
- 3 exams
i dont know if its do-able. i should be freaking out but i'm not really. i'm just fuckin annoyed with school and i want to look at what my other options could be.
so by april 5th what can i get done?
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[05 Mar 2010|10:02pm] |
i'm in love.
i'm so crazy.
i can't help it.
he is so good.
so good.
so good.
so good.
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| like a string |
[01 Mar 2010|03:01pm] |
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my fingers feel good from my guitar, there's beer in my mouth and love in my heart, and this i did not expect. he came out of the woodwork. he held me close. oh is this for real? life is full of surprises, beautiful and surreal and i feel capable and alive and i am singing from the feeling, i am vibrating like a string. i am opening like a flower and i'm full like the moon and i'm hungry and curious and wanting and hopeful and innocent and i believe again. it just takes one little thing. it takes love, it takes living. there are stories, there are things we did, and i don't regret a thing. but i'm happy where i am. i'm not worried about a thing.
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[28 Feb 2010|02:41pm] |
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ashton is now my boyfriend. details later. <3
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[23 Feb 2010|03:54pm] |
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skipped school and watched rocknroll youtube videos all day.... yes, i rule, you don't have to tell me.
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[14 Feb 2010|10:58pm] |
i've been practicing my guitar. she has a last name now. paulina placenta. i actually see my dreams manifesting around me and it's scary and good and i'm on the right path and i know it.
( pictures! )
one of my new years resolutions was to take lots of pictures and i really love to! it helps me get out of my head and see things from different perspectives and appreciate all the beauty in my life.
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[10 Feb 2010|03:10pm] |
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jello shots for breakfast ;)
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[04 Feb 2010|09:34pm] |
beautiful, strange, blessed.
my body, i feel something.
<3
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| to do this week REALLY |
[31 Jan 2010|09:48pm] |
- find osap thing and get it to them.
- buy course kit, books for canadian authors and women and aging.
- get metropass.
- shit loads of reading to catch up on, i need to make a real dent in it.
- get the rest of "i knew a motherfucker like you and she said..." #2 out to contributors.
- make copies.
- go to the post office. packages for hannah and ivana, get back to a trade, mail out order, write a letter for my grandma.
- urban studies assignment.
- letter to author assignment.
- start on women and aging essay.
- linguistics assignment.
- clean the house.
- kitty litter.
- laundry.
- prepare for horror party, email people, try to get weed, figure out food, jelloshots.
- go to all my classes. (2/5 ...)
- get back to the grrrl who submitted to "i knew a motherfucker ..." #3
- get "i knew a motherfucker..." #2 up for sale online. (check it: http://sites.google.com/site/clementinecannibal/zines)
- practice guitar. (should've done more tho)
- try to write that piece for amber's zine.
- revisit rework bones.
- rent, hydro.
- if jolie's half of the split arrives this week, i'll make the flat!
- make vegetable curry. (no, but i did a lot of other cooking...)
- read zines.
- spend time in the library.
- do another zine review video.
- do my nails.
- take my vitamins.
- make a list of upcoming assignments/figure out what i need to do to finish these credits.
- VOTE
- fight depression head on. ...
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[30 Jan 2010|11:17am] |
i'll write a more real entry soon...
i just wanted to let everyone know i'm doing good, and i want to thank you all so much for your loving comments during my break up. i threw myself into my zines, finished "i knew a motherfucker like you and she said..." #2, got copies out to almost all the contributors (a couple more to go), i finished my half of the split i'm doing with jolie, and her half is on the way to me, i saw the new GNR live in concert (again), got shitfacedintoxicated and had a blast.
i dream about him. i try not to look at pictures of him. i try not to think about him.
i'm remembering ME. and thats a really good thing.
also, i am sexually attracted to dr spencer reed on the show criminal minds. dont judge me. ;)
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| pictures |
[25 Jan 2010|11:36am] |
i live beside a river
me in pigtails drinking wine
the altar in our living room
girlVIRUS
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| POWER |
[22 Jan 2010|12:20am] |
it means so much to me when grrrls write to me and tell me my zines are empowering. it's a word grrrls use to describe my zines a lot and it makes my heart just fill up to bursting. that is why i write zines. because when i was a 12 year old closeted queer grrrl whose grandfather was sexually abusing her i discovered zines and they EMPOWERED me. that's all i want, for grrrls to get this POWER, and if we can give it to each other that is SUCH A GOOD THING.
i love you grrrrls. <3
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lickingstarsoff's journal
